SOMEBODY in my apartment is not very smart, and since I live alone, it is obviously the machines.
Here is how clueless they are: If I hit the remote for the Bose CD player in the living room, the Bose iPod dock 10 feet away turns itself on. The DVD player, VCR and cable all have their own remotes, which refuse to communicate with one another. The radiator and air-conditioning units must be adjusted with a lever, and they have only three settings: Comfortable, until you get into bed; Too Hot or Too Cold, as you are falling asleep; and Shoveling Coal on the Titanic, at 3 in the morning. And while I have never left the house with the gas on — a fear that apparently is passed down genetically — I worry, as I grow older, that this might happen.